I am fine / on the UCU strike
I am fine, I said to myself
when a security guard with tattoos on their face
acted as my guardian angel
wetting me
when I fainted thrice
hit my head twice
once I was fine, I said to myself
on a train to Waterloo
it should not mean defeat
I am fine, I kept on saying
while stuffing myself with protein bars
not to faint again
when I felt myself falling
I am fine
I said to students
climbing the stairs to seminars, dizzy
I also told them
just call 911 if I faint
I am obviously an immigrant
911
999
oh America, Oh England
oh PJ Harvey
a great thinker
of various wars
I am hungry, I kept on convincing myself
not to faint again
I need to forget my embodiment to think
it helps when I sing lines
I am fine, I said to myself
after googling that it is solely a minor concussion
if the fall is not accompanied
by vomit
that might help, I said to myself,
when the GP gave me betablockers
to calm my racing heart
raving around
a racialising city
I am fine,
we are supposed to say
when the profession
that called us
is silently crumbling
hear
my absence from the seminar room
I strike
I do not pray
I come from postsocialism
where education is free
I am fine, I said to my supervisor
she said I haven’t been round
I told her about the concussion
Oh, you see what Academia does to one, she said
The perils of academia, I replied
just to show that I indeed can use more elaborate words
in the language that is not my own
we are fine,
we keep on lying
when strike days are days for self care
when weekends do not come
when we fight for what was already claimed
when we speak in verse
when writing books takes time
and there is only so much space on placards
